Thursday, September 17, 2009

Hi Deanna

Hi Deanna!
I figured that since you are my only follower I would at least give you some attention! LOL

Saturday, September 12, 2009

How Much Do We Choose To Remember

I know I will never hear the end of this. Yes, we remember 9-11. Yes, it was a tragedy and we shouldn't forget it. The thing is that it is so self-centered and selfish of America to focus all of the attention on that, when, really, there are SO many people dying DAILY in third world countries, and nobody cares. Nobody remembers kids dying of starvation in Cambodia. Nobody remembers girls that are traded in for refrigerators and sold to prostitution in China. Nobody remembers, men, women, and children that are brutally murdered by guerrillas in Africa. Why? I don't know. Is it because they are nameless? Because they aren't mentioned daily in the news? Because we figure that organizations like UNICEF are taking care of it'?Or is easier for us to look the other way and pretend like there is nothing we can do about it? I dont know. My point is, yes, 9-11 was a horrible day in history and it should have NEVER happened. But there are things going on in the world that should never happen either, and it doesn't seem to get as much attention or keep people from sleeping as much as 9-11 does. I some people are gonna get upset, I know some people are gonna say that I am not patriotic, I know. Well, those people shouldnt get upset, they should try to honestly see if there might be any truth to what I am saying. But I am too patriotic, American flag pinned up to my ceiling and all, but I am just not blind.
Ugh... go ahead. Hate me.

Oh, and while I am at it... whats the deal with this H1N1 scare? It pretty much doesnt even kill nearly as much as the regular flu does... but those labs are gonna make a killing selling the preventive shots. Right in the middle of a a worldwide financial crisis... I bet they will call it a happy coincidence too!

Sorry guys, I seem to be feeling oddly political tonight. Someone give me a hot cup ' joe, an oval office, and call me Commander and Chief! LOL...NOT!!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Cha Cha Cha Chaaaaanging... life is good...

Does anybody know that song? it is now stuck in my head and I can't seem to remember a good enough line of it to google it. Anyway, change. Yup, it comes and goes. Most of us are a little afraid to see it coming. Change forces us to face things that we may have been avoiding to see for a while. It forces us to take action. It makes us step out of our comfort zone. Ultimately, we know that change is good, change is evolution, and without it we would never grow and mature and that it is a necessity in life. That being said, who really wants to be stuck in the middle of that process? Who wants to face their fears full on not knowing what the end will be? As Christians we are always praying to be "broken down" and "built back up" by the Holy Spirit, and become more like who God wants us to be. That being said, who really wants to be down on their knees, crying, at their lowest low? I dont, I will admit it. It doesnt mean that I wont do it, it just means that in the end it all translates into fear, and fear is one of the things that can keep the smallest men from turning into a giants. It is the quickest emergency brake, in any situation. We all want to be brave, we all want to say that we are really "only" afraid of spiders, or dogs, or flying, but in reality we are all afraid of most everything most of the time. Isn't that inspiring? Not really.
My life has been flooded with change this past year. To no surprise, really, God told me it would be, but that doesnt make it that much easier. Change has come in many forms, good and bad. I have bought a new camera (good) and heard about friends or relatives being seriously ill(bad). I have had the opportunity of traveling a lot (even better!) and had to face the painful consequences of my stupid and selfish actions (even worse!) ... so, everything is changing.
But I think that the worst kind of change, at least for me, is the kind that is completely out of our control. I know that technically, if you look at the big picture, everything is out of our control because at any given moment we could choke on some steak, get run over by a bus, or even more likely, in these days, get fired. But we all like to think we are in control, right? I am a go-getter. I am not ashamed. I also set goals, which is the best way for me to not get distracted or lazy. I am a lady in action! Haha... you would see now how hard it is for me to leave things up in the air for other people to take action, or wait for God's timing to come around. Which right now seems to be the theme of my life. Work and friendships are all wrapped around this last theme. I just hate not knowing. If I knew that everything would turn out alright in the end, then I wouldnt worry, I wouldnt cry, I wouldnt talk my dad's ear off every three days about how the sky is falling. So I guess its really an issue with faith. I need to have faith that everything will turn out OK, and then I will do better. The only way of doing this is to strengthen my relationship with God, which involves a serious time commitment from my part, and willingness to listen. So... change, fear, faith. That is the equation right now, that is what keeps me up at night. At the same time though, it might just be what keeps me going.